Its not fair I guess..... well life is never fair but thats besides the point.

I really want to start a family only because with my health issues I wont be able to be on feet when my kids are still young and its not fair to them but sadly my boyfriend doesn't want kids right now.... its not fair. He feels we are too young and the time isn't right.

When's the time gonna be right??? Our finances will always be questionable and we never will be ready to handle the ups and downs of being a parent until it actually happens. I really want a family. Deep down I crave to be a mother and though I am flawed I will be a good mom. I know I'm young enough to still have my whole life ahead of me but to me my life wont be complete until I have a small one in tow. I want my life to be right.... not perfect.... but right.

Why cant I have things I want???

My name is Bree Cheese and though its not my whole story and there are plenty of gaps in it but it sets the stage for future stories so here goes....

     I was born in 1988 to an already split family. My mother was young and my father was getting married to a woman who was not my mother. Shortly there after my stepfather came into the picture and I was adopted into his family five years later shortly after he married my mother. I was the only child for seven years and then came the first of my four siblings. Three girls followed by a boy finished off our little family. My stepfather brought us up in a very interesting church and we learned how to be upright citizens by serving in the house of god for ten years. My mother decided that the way we were brought up wasn't the best way to be brought up anymore and found that even though she cared about my dad that life was time to change and when I was seventeen my parents divorced... splitting my family for the second time. At the time of their divorce I was living in Chaing Mai, Thailand on a two month mission trip for my church with a fun program called Global Expeditions. I came home to a broken home and got a broken heart. My high school sweetheart of a year decided we were going two different directions and left me two days after I landed back home, and so began my crazy spiral of trying to find myself.

    I have many adventures and stories from the four years that have passed since those days and they will come out in time but for now here's who I am currently. I am a pantry chef at a five star restaurant in the greater Seattle area and I work typically a solid forty hours a week. I work hard and I love what I do. I live with my boyfriend of a year and in a week we are moving to a nicer place then where we are at currently. We have had our ups and downs and in the end our relationship has been better because of what we have been through. I have so much I want to share and yet so much I cant seem to organize but soon I'll be able to properly organize all my jumbled thoughts and be able to share my experiences.